12/3/10
Jacob Ben,
Hello my love! So I am sitting here at 1:37 in the morning and I was just caught up reading old OLD emails between an old friend and myself. Honey, I LOVED reading them, it was like a timeline of like 4 years. I remembered things I had written and was blown away from where I had been to where I was at the end of the letters. The letters were from 03 to 07, isn't that incredible? Jacob I love you so much and I feel like I want to share more of myself with you. How I am feeling and where I am in my thought from day to day. I thought this might be an awesome way for us to connect to each other. I know it takes you a long time to write on the computer but I would just think it was the greatest thing if you tried this for me. I am feeling so emotional right now. The letters I was reading were between my friend Henry and me. I realized in reading those emails that I had a false reality of Henry and of our relationship. Henry made me feel so good about myself but not because he was anything special, mostly because he was so different from me that I was constantly trying to better myself. I loved who I was becoming through our friendship, I loved when I felt so motivated to be more then I am. I feel that way with you too! Jacob, my love, I want to write you a love letter, ! want you to know how incredibly in love with you I am. I love your laughter and your smile. I love how amazing you are at being a father to the two most incredible children on this planet! I love your back and your arms and your hair and your eyes well just your whole body! When you kiss me I feel complete! I know you were who I was suppose to spend the rest of eternity with. I melted when I look at you across the altar. I knew my Heavenly Father loved me cause otherwise he wouldn't have given me you. Right now in my life I feel happy, sure there are moments of frustration or whatever but truly, I feel happy. It felt good to go to enrichment tonight and be around women. I love the relationships that are built among women, they make you whole. Do you know what I wish? I wish I could paint, I have always wanted to but I have NOOOOO talent in that area. I wish I could be crafty and artsy but I'm just me, hopefully my kids will enjoy their terribly crafted Halloween costumes. I used to be worried that I would be a terrible mother but the truth is.....I think I'm pretty good! I won't just tell anyone that I just wanted to tell you. I also think I made two of the most incredible people ever to have graced this planet. Some people leave giant wholes when they leave this Earth that is easily YOU and our BABIES! People will weep and know you have left! Jake please write me back and tell me things. Anything. Next time I'll ask you things and you can answer them but for now I want to just hear from you! Also ask me somethings ANYTHING. I love you, my man, my sweet sweet man!
Julie Jean Suazo
From Jake
I love you soooo much. You are the perfect wife. I am so happy that you decided to do this with me and I know some times its hard especially for you, having to take care of the little humans all the time, but they are lucky to have you as a mom and I am lucky to have you as a wife. I cant wait to have time just for us two. I know we have had that kind of down time in the past, but this time I mean to take advantage of it. Thank you for supporting me through this crappy time in our lives, It will soooooon be OVER!!! And then on to fun forever! At least I think so.
What a guy right! These emails easily define the differences between men and women! Mine is long winded and sappy Jake is to the point and yet still powerful and loving. It makes me laugh....just wait for the rest of the installments it gets pretty funny!
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