Hotel Hospital

Today is my 12th day in the hospital.  Jake brought the kids to see me.  They always lighten my mood and make me smile.  I feel complete with them here but it makes my heart long to be with them in our home.  When it was time to leave Addy cried and held out her arms for me to hold her.  Part of me spirit slumped knowing she was sad and part of it lifted knowing she missed me.  I have prayed and hoped that my beautiful children will survive this time apart.  Survive and thrive through it and yet I long for them to need me.  I miss them so much while I sit here alone.  I think about what they are eating for lunch or hope they are getting their naps.  Hoping things are getting done for them that only I know about them, like how Addy loved oranges and could eat them all day or how Frank with take a nap if you lay down with him and play with his hair.  These are the mommy moments I'm sitting here longing for. Wishing I could snuggle them whenever I want.  I am blessed that I have family.  Family that are supportive and capable.  They fill in the holes I'm sure I've left.  They love my children and I know that while I'm away their arms are open and loving.  Their homes are welcoming and loving.  I am now 29 weeks and 3 days so we are making progress and each day with us together is one less day I will have to spend away from my precious baby while he stays in the NICU so for now I'll take the terrible T.V. then poor excuse for food and the loneliness I feel to know that my baby is safe and growing.
I am thankful for the prayers I feel and the support we have received.

28 Weeks

My water broke 2 days ago.  I was laying in bed and suddenly knew I had peed my little pants, I hadn't of course, it was my water breaking.  Eventually I thought it was a good idea to just get checked out and see if everything was ok.  I headed to Orem Community Hospital and they confirmed that it has broken and I was heading to UVRMC because they have an amazing NICU which I would be needing. 
I have been so overwhelmed.  Not quite sure how to take in all the information I have received over the last couple days.  the deal is I'm having this baby sooner then I want sooner then I should which means he will be spending time in the Neonatal ICU or NICU.  I'm only 28 weeks so this little guy is about 2 pounds right now and if he were born now he would not be able to suck, so he will be on a feeding tube.  He will have problems breathing on his own so he will be on oxygen and I'm sure a few other machines. 

This is a baby at 28 weeks old

Luckily I haven't been contracting and so the doctors feel like he can stay inside my body and cook for as long as possible.  They will deliver no matter what at 34 weeks because by then the risk of infection is greater then the risks to the baby being outside my body. I'm praying everyday my body can keep this baby safe and he will stay where he needs to be.  Right now there is no infection for either of us and even though he is swimming in VERY little fluid babies can replenish their amniotic fluid that he can maintain enough for him to breath in.  I can feel him moving so that is a constant comfort.
I am terrified if I'm being honest. Not knowing what is going to happen is lonely.  Jake is amazing but his body isn't doing this mine is. What if my body decides to become infected and won't hold my little baby inside anymore.  I will lay in this terrible hospital bed for all 6 weeks if he will have me.  Franklin was born at 41 weeks and was 8 lbs 15 oz. and Adelaide was 39 weeks and weighted 7 lbs 12 oz. this is not what I am used to at all.  My sisters have both had preemie babies so I have some understanding about what my future will be like at the hospital which makes me so grateful.
I am eternally thankful for my testimony in eternal families, my loving Heavenly Father, my incredible earthly family, friends who have stepped up to help and the movement I feel in my belly.
I know I am in a hospital that I have seen do amazing things with the tiniest babies.  My prayers are strong enough they are passionate enough but it is gods will.  I will do all I can and then give it to him.  
I love you baby Louie! I have been waiting for you and I have been just as impatient to meet you as it seems you are to meet me.  Please stay strong and continue to grow.  Feel free to have a dance party all day so I can know you are there.  
Julie Jean

3 Years

Remember when this happened?  

I do cause it was the best day of my life!  Sure Jake and I got married 4 years ago on May 24th but then one year later we took this sweet baby to the temple with us and we ALL became a forever family.  Tomorrow is my birthday and our 3 year anniversary of our amazing day.  You can't even imagine how handsome my husband looked on the day he was sealed to me for eternity.  Then of course when they brought my beautiful baby boy into my and held him next to us.  I held him after we were done and couldn't let him go.  He was so beautiful.  

I am so happy to celebrate this amazing anniversary with Jacob Ben, Franklin Ben and Adelaide Jean and of course our new little baby in the tummy! 

Jake, I love you! Thank you for your patience, your kind words and your amazing kisses! I miss you when your at work and love when you cuddle me and watch the history channel.  

Franklin, My dreams came true when you came into my life! You are so smart and funny.  I love spending time with you and talking to you about your life and all the things you love and hate.  I love when you laugh and when you say "is that right mom?" or "she just pissed me off mom!" (Frank that is a naughty word that mom should never say! Thank you for being my practice dummy and doing it with patience you are kind and loving and I think you are amazing!

Little Addy:  You are the most beautiful little girl I have ever met!  I can't believe how smart and clever you are.  You know just what you want and you are so determined at everything you do.  You love freely and give hugs to everyone but mostly to ME which just makes my days.  I love your blue eyes and you silly laugh and how cute your voice is! You have the most expressive face and you love to engage with me and tell me stories. 

Little Bean:  I just started feeling you move! I know you are there and getting bigger so you can make your arrival and be big and strong!  We love you and I can't wait to meet you.

There is nothing more precious then the gift my Heavenly Father has given to me to be with my family forever.  I want to always prove faithful of the covenants I have made so I can be with my Heavenly Father and my Handsome husband and Beautiful children. 

 

And baby makes 3!

Or in our case 5! There will be 3 Suazo babies and 2 Suazo parents! Today husband and I went to the doctor and had "the" ultra sound where they tell you boy or girl.  We are having a BOY! I am so excited. For us this is the perfect combination.  I like that Addy just might be our only girl and Frank will be a big brother.  I am so happy to have this baby and snuggle my little newborn.  Oct. 25th is our due date.  I can't believe we are adding another baby and our babies are growing up so much. Addy talks so much now she loves saying yes and no but she has mastered some other words. Hot dog and thank you are my personal favorites.  She says it like this "dant do" She is so very fussy about how she likes things.  Her jackets always have to buttoned up and she loved SHOES.  She loves to cuddle her mom and carry around her baby doll.  He really loves babies, the other day her cousin was in my arms and Addy sat with me for 10 mins and held him with me.  This kid normally can't sit still for more then 2 minutes.  Frank has become quite the charmer.  He knows just what to say to get out of trouble.  I will tell him to take a time out and he says, "but I was just going to say I'm sorry."  His prayers are to die for, "Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the day.  When we wake up in the morning, name of Jesus Christ amen!"  The other day we were leaving church and he saw of picture of Heavenly Father and Jesus and pointed to it and told me, "Look mom, Jesus's!"  i corrected him telling him it was Heavenly Father and Jesus and he looked at me and said, "Yeah Jesus's!"  When I asked him who we say our prayers to he paused and then responded proudly, "Nephi!"  Then finally we were laying in bed together and there was a picture of Christ on the wall with his hand stretched out and I asked Frank if he knew what Christ had done for us and his answer was magical.  He said, " Yes, he said hello it's nice to meet you.  I was scared and he said don't be scared it's nice to meet you and I said, Hi my name is Frank and it's nice to meet you!"  I could go on and on but I'm tired and need to catch up on other things so THANKS AND LOVE!

Lifes Update!

So I am a stay at home mom, like a for real stay at home mom.  From sun up to bedtime (and sometimes in between) I am known as MOM!  By definition this title affords me the opportunity to play many roles.  Housekeeper, cook, teacher, mentor, dresser, professional organizer and a lot of other things.  Now I must be honest, I'm not so sure I'm all that great and ANY of these things.  My house has laundry on the floor right now that my kids are using to practice their jumping skills.  Dinner was lacking a salad and Frank is chilling in undies since he spilled dinner all over himself.  I'm not crafty and I stink at playtime but I have come to love some of my new personality traits I've adopted or revived since becoming a TIRED mom.  I am loving! Incredibly able to hug and kiss my kids until their faces fall off.  Doesn't mean I don't get incredible unloving but I say I love you all the time and I am constantly feel overwhelmed by my love for my children.  I am a good cook.  I don't always make dinner BUT when I do it is yummy and people like to eat it ;)  I am happy.  I like to be with my kids and enjoy my time as a mom.  Now the tricky part for me is how to structure my time wisely so that I get ANYTHING done.  I feel so lazy when no one is telling me where to go or risking a grade if I don't attend my class today.  This is life and I'm my own boss and I got to tell you I'm not very bossy! I need help! How do you motivate yourself to exercise and clean the stuff you don't ever clean?  How do you motivate yourself to create a home of loveliness when it might just need to be a house that is livable?  What to do.

Franklin turned 3

Frank turned 3 and I found this great idea on Pintrest that you should ask them the same questions every year on their birthday and then give them to them when they are 18! I love the idea so here is my letter to Frank and his list of questions.


Franklin my sweet little boy! You are so amazing and special to me! I can't believe your 3 years old! You talk 100 miles a minute and you love Dinosaurs. You are strong willed which I think is one of my favorite things about you and also what might lead me to an early grave ;) You are a good brother. You love to pretend and play all day. You love Londan and Eli and you always want to have them over to play. I love you my special little boy. I am proud of who you are and I can't believe how much you know already. Your colors are a breeze and you pretty much have the entire alphabet song down. You love to point out letters and tell me what they are. You like to tell me it's 7 o clock even if it isn't cause you think that is the time to wake up! I love watching you discover and learn. You love to learn. Thank you for being a good boy and for trying hard to listen to your mom. I LOVE YOU my franky boy!


1. What is your favorite color?Blue
2. What is your favorite toy? Buzz and a T-REX
3. What is your favorite fruit? Banana (NOT TRUE he hates them)
4. What is your favorite tv show?Dora the Explorer (Don't tell Jake?!)
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch?Chips
6. What is your favorite outfit?My bathing suit (I feel like this could mean both kinds of bathing suit lol!)
7. What is your favorite game?Drawing
8. What is your favorite snack?chips (they are popular)
9. What is your favorite animal?Cow and Giraffe (he had play dough cut outs of those animals right now)
10. What is your favorite song?Dinosaur Train (He is now singing it!)
11. What is your favorite book? Petunia have a pet skunk
12. Who is your best friend? Addy! SO CUTE! He said Addy is his girlfriend!
13. What is your favorite cereal? Oatmeal
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside?play with my shoes outside.
15. What is your favorite drink? carrot juice THIS IS FOR REAL!
16. What is your favorite holiday? Halloween
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? The leopard and Mr. Duck
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cheerios
19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? CAKE I like CAKES
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A DINOSAUR!
He wanted me to add What is your favorite dinosaur? Baryonx
21.What do you like the most about mom? Cleaning up with her
22.What do you like the most about dad? Getting in the snow
23.What is your favorite thing about Addy? She cries

Memories I have from this past year;
You like to tell Addy: Ok Addy that is enough of the crying! It has got to stop.
We have started Potty training! YIKES!
You and Addy now share a room
You like to have tea parties and watch Dora the Explorer
You told me that Baryonx was the best dinosaur to ever walk the earth!
We started attending a play group and you love the time with other kids
I taught you about school buses and what they do then you saw one and thought it was for you. It made you cry that you couldn't get on the bus.
You had surgery on your teeth all four in the front had to be fixed.
You spent 8 days in the hospital because of pnemonia
It has been a great year my little boy!

MOM

Winter is HERE:(

I'm mostly sad about the winter but somehow excited about the prospect of playing in the snow. I love the holidays and I love being with family. I'm not so sure I always felt that way, there was a rebellious side to me that pushed away my family for a long time. Probably because I felt guilty or sad about the person I was. I chose my friends over my family, now, being a parent I can imagine how much that hurt my parents feelings. When I grew out of my selfish stage and became a wife and a mother I was SHOCKED at just how special and beautiful each one of my family members are. My father is one of the most caring men I know. He and I struggle with our relationship because we are such different people but I wished he could know just how much I admire him and want him to be proud of me. My Mother oh my sweet Mother. There is nothing more clarifying then becoming a mother yourself. I have never understood, felt more gratitude for, or just been in awe of who my Mother is. She has helped me with so much throughout my life and more so since I have become a mother myself. She is beautiful and gently and loving and special and truly one of my best friends. My sisters are truly my best friends now. I never thought I would feel that way because I had so much guilt I pushed them as far away as I could. However, Anna, Suzy, Carrie and Sarah are honestly my best friends! I call and cry to them, I ask advice, I laugh ALL the time with them and I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM! My brothers are so sweet and kind. Dan has always had a tender spot for me and he is always helpful and loving! Joseph is silly and helpful and always does what I ask him to do even if I shouldn't have asked. I seriously took these people for granted and never saw just how amazing they truly are. I am blessed to have a personal and real relationship with each member of my family. I am blessed to be a Mortimer and I am happy they have forgiven the silliness of a girl who had everything wrong! Friendship is the purest when it is held between family members! There love is endless and meaningful. I love you my family and I am glad I have you for eternity!